"Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over life, over blood, over prayer,
overhead and light
Fight over love, over sun,
over another, Fight..."

Everywhere I look, I find my rule. Maybe one of the biggest rules I have learned to live by. Trust no one. Sometimes, the only person that you can really trust is just yourself. Not because everyone will betray you, but because you 'Think' that they will. Perhaps they may, though. Then, you are in the right for guarding yourself so righteously. Other times, It may cost you that dear friend that you had for so long. But, people are replaceable, right? Most of the times this is true. However, sometimes, if your like me.. you leave your footprint in someone's life. Suddenly, this stranger now walks your path of life with you, and you're unsure if it's a good or a bad thing. . . .

Welcome to my life. I live on the edge of judgement, as I like to call it. Not because I'm a serial killer, or because I want to be a vigilante, but because I keep the peace. I keep the order. Or, I try to anyways. You never know what one little smile that you give that waiter, or that stocking person, or that little girl walking with a black eye.. You never know what affect that may have on someone. I can be a witness to this. Probably every day of my life in high school, I thought about killing myself. I thought about slicing my legs and arms up like fileted meat and just letting my body drain it's rich, vivid liquid. I thought it was normal, and I realized that I put too much thought into it. There was one person who broke me of my delusions... She helped keep me sane, she helped keep me alive, smiling, and she helped ignite the fire in me. Although, I was so far behind on social etiquette at the time, and I was just so desperate for attention that I didn't care from whom. And of course, that's how it all began.

Yes, david, I spoke of you. The one where it all began. Though, our history runs dark, deep, and probably some of the worst times in my life.. You helped me become who I am today, as I have mentioned you off and on for years now, you know your place in my life. You are one of the irreplaceable. For that, I thank you.

Since that time, I have shifted, Molded, and finally found a form that I could call my own in time. I adapted to people, found out what they liked and disliked, and made it into an art. I had become a mirror. Whatever emotions I was given, I could duplicate and send back to the owner, thus getting anything and everything that I wanted subconsciously. And this skill has served me no other purpose than keeping the score of good and bad even. Remember how I said that a smile can do wonders? Try walking past somoene that you can hear in their mind talking about killing themselves. Placing a hand, smiling, and saying it's all going to be alright, and to hang in there can pretty much change their mood. The moment in which you can look into their eyes, and see that pain, the hate, the suffering and connect to them, not only as a human being, but as an energy force that has the same flow, relaxes them so much more than you can ever imagine.

People were gifted with amazing talents, only some of them have I really been able to understand. our ability to connect, mingle, understand and create identities that make us unique but still one in the same is so amazing, so different, and so special, unlike any other living organism known to man at this moment in our lifespan. Clearly, we cannot be alone in the vast universe, with thousands of galaxes, and probably hundreds of planets that are technically just like us, in every aspect. Who knows, maybe your soul that you have connects you to another planet, where your doppelganger does the exact opposite of what you do. interesting, eh? Never the less, we will never find this out in our lifetime.

And for once, I feel like my blog has just turned to babble instead of careful writing, and detail which I usually always put into everything that I do.. I guess, this time.. I can blame it on sleep deprivation. in which case, good night. You will hear from me shortly.