October 11, 2006
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The Description of the Perfect love:
Tall, Skinny, Caring
Not really with me for sex
Will be there for me when I need them the most
Will not care what others think of us being together
Loves me for how I look, and won't try to change me.
Is happy with me, and will want to spend every moment with me that he can
Will give me a small gift every once in a blue moon to show me that he does care for me
Will remember special dates
Wants to hang out with me, and wants to go places with me
Will Talk to me, until I fall asleep on the phone
Will Call me no matter how late in the night it is, Just to tell me he loves me, and misses me.
Knows of Alien Sex, and its values
Is mature, and caring
has a plan for life ahead of him
Knows games inside and out, and will love competition.
Someone just to hold, and love me.. For who I am..I know some of those are really materialistic, but that's me.. I don't know.. I have had up and down moods lately, and this is one of them.. I just wanted to see if what I had in my mind was close to what I have.. and I don't know.. Meh.. Im so frustrated with myself. Im so angry at my feelings.. And I guess I just want to be held... To feel special, or something.
Maybe Im obsessive, annoying, or something like that.. I don't know.. Do I talk about Kevin too much? He is always what is running through my head... And I don't know if he is my everything or not.. but, god, Do I really wish he is.. And I am happy to be with him.. sometimes.. And sometimes, I miss him.. Terribly..but, I don't want to ask him to come over.. I don't want to foce him.. If he wants to see me, then he will come.. If not.. then.. *Sigh* I guess I will just go out with friends.. Because they know me to well..Im getting tired, so.. I might also be psycho on some of the things.. I have realised that I am a psycho Ex Girlfriend, and I will try hard to change that to the people that I have already dated, and I am a bitch to them.. [Minus changing toward some people.. they need to be treated like shit..] bah.. I don't know.. Its weird.
It seems like everytime I think or something, my life goes on Fast Foreward. It just speeds up, just to anger me. I think my Vision is getting a little too blurry to keep typing, But I am going to keep typing. I apologize now for my mistakes.
I've been listening to all kinds of music lately, and my Music taste is so Diverse now, I don't know what to really think of it.. What to call it.. Heh..
Tiffany called me earlier. she was complaining about being in the hospital, and being there an Extremely long time, and they still have not called her back.. She must be getting bored of it now.. Maybe like.. 9 hours she has been there now.. I don't know.. I can't keep track of time anymore..
Was looking at College stuff earlier, all because my Dear Garsna linked me to a scholarship app. It was quite nice of her to do for me, and It has helped me determine everything I want to be. I want to be a Mortician/Embalmer, but it is not a really steady job, but then again.. What is now a days? I also looked at being a pharmacist, And what that required. I need to be good at Math. If Any of you guys know me, You know.. I am not really good at all at math.. But I am going to try. I also looked at being a Chemist, but I don't know.. I might still becoem that.. lets see how I survive this Chemistry year.
I really think I have nothing more to say.. If So, then I will Edit this and add it later on. Heh.
Gotta go, I guess... love you guys.
Night.
-Charleen
Comments (1)
Charlie, I can tell you this from experience. It is a lot easier to live without worrying about love or what is perfect for you. Just go with the seasons, and if someone meets you or you meet someone, see how it goes. It doesn't have to be a life-long relationship, but just seeing people now and then can be healthy. True mutual love will come up when it does, so be open for it but don't hold your breath. An example would be Jess and I. We've been going out for almost seven months now and probably will straight to me going to basic next year, and hopefully beyond that. We can't truly say those three magic words to each other yet, and sex isn't an issue. We'll just see what happens and hope for the best, and we're happier for it. I just don't want to see the football grabbed out from under you any more, Charlie Brown.
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